Dear best friend,
It’s times like these I wish you were here. When the world is full of panic, dread and fear. I know you would listen. No judgement, no agenda, just an open ear.
A shoulder to lean on, a burden we’d share. Knowing that after our conversations and hearty laughter the air would be clear.
I would tell you how recently I went through a scare, a cyst on my breast which appeared out of no where. The scan has been done, and I need not worry, unless it doesn’t heal, in which case I must return in a hurry.
I would share good news too, my unrelenting excitement of becoming an Aunty, which would make us think back on our own pregnancy journey’s. What a gift life truly is. Memories flowing of oohing and ahhing over onsies and bibs.
I would tell you how I’m trying to over come my deepest fears and be the best I can be. In honour of you and your memory. It’s times like this, in the middle of the night, when I can’t pick up the phone and my thoughts turn to fright.
I am hurled back into a pit of despair and a cycle of grief. What is unfolding in the world is beyond belief. My young cousin has just passed away, we hope and pray he now has relief. Peace and rest for his soul. Returning home to the place of our ancestors, once more.
I know I am not the only one to have a hole in my heart, but you saw me for me, and to find that in another damn sure is hard. Your strength and character shone like the rays of the sun. Always at the ready, racing to yell shotgun!!
It’s times like these I wish you were here. You always knew how to make things better, the right things to say and do, no matter the weather. It’s your smile, laughter and hugs I miss the most. Tomatoes with heeeeeaps of salt + pepper and real butter on toast.
I know your work on earth was complete, your angel wings carried you away, no weight on your feet. Here I stay hoping and wishing just one more conversation, just one last adventurous mission. I hold you in my heart, thoughts and prayers knowing one day I’ll see you on those stairs.
But for now I must be brave, have courage and faith, I must carry on and be strong, especially when things all go wrong. I will dig deep, sustain and endure, writing as I go so you can be sure. If you are there looking down, I hope you can see, just how much you really did mean to me.
Take care of our loved ones, give them the chur bro’s, the east-coast wave, wat ups and hellos!!! For now I’ll cry my tears into my pillow, till it’s soggy and a mess. Which reminds me, I must find my black dress, heart heavy in my chest. It’s times like these I wish you were here, no one knows me like you know me, you knew me best.